She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
