I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
