Nicole vs. Life
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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