Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize