what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
