i jhust puked up my retainher.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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