How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
