I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
