i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
