Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize