you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
