So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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