I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
