yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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