Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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