i just had sex bonerless
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
