Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
