There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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