Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
