I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
