who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
