I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
