Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
