Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
