My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
