Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
