I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
