he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
