I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
