sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
