She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
