ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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