My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she peed on how many people?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
