4 words: hood of his car
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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