I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
