her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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