im about as happy as oj after his trial
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
