No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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