He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He passed out mid-signature
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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