did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
