Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
