He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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