It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
