I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
