Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
