Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
