Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
