I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Found your dick twin last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
