Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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