Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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