Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
