but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
